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Navy pilot terms and slang. TOP SECRET - - - - TOP SECRETNot for enemy eyes! The infamous "DEAD BUG"! This inane exercise or "game", which is best played in a bar, is testimony to the theory of evolution. We apparently still have some genes left over from the ape. Though I don't think even an ape would ..

Marine. In any case, many ex- Marine aviators who no longer have a functioning back can blame it on Dead Bug. It works like this (and this is second- hand information - from Marine officers - I've never had the pleasure myself). A group of "officers and gentlemen" are gathered in a bar. Are you paying attention?

This is complex.). At just the right moment (that would be when everyone's dry), inspiration strikes one of the gentlemen, who cries out haute voix: "DEAD BUG!" Now the Marines, who have played this since boot camp, have hair- trigger reflexes when hearing that incontrovertible command, and in about a second- and- a- half they're all flat on their back on the barroom floor, because the last man down naturally buys the round. If he's able to get up.

Actually, it's probably the first man down who'll have the most trouble getting up. I regret greatly that I haven't observed this exercise, so you'll have to imagine it for yourself. It would certainly produce some sudden rearrangement of the furniture akin to a minor earthquake. And perhaps the loser also wipes up the blood - I don't know.

Nor can I say anything about the best technique, having neither trained nor competed, but I think it must involve kicking both feet forward simultaneously and letting gravity do the rest. That would get you the full benefit of the 3. And explain some of the broken backs.

Well, there you have it. Clearly this is most fun after a few drinks, when the gentlemen are fully faced, though I suspect the Marines get into the spirit at little expense. If you're wondering about the classification of this document, the Pentagon's discovery that an enemy could flatten an entire battalion of Marines with a bullhorn has given them pause. But, like Dr. Ellsberg of "The Pentagon Papers" fame, I just thought you should know. Unlike him, I've warned the enemy off, as you see.)TOP SECRET - - - - TOP SECRET.